03 April 2006

Should gay youth go on a mission?

I'm 17 years old and gay. Should I go on an LDS mission? NOTE: Due to human error, we accidentally erased last week's postings on this important topic. For this we apologize. Please consider posting again.


Blogger Kat said...

It depends if you are gay and acting upon it. It is one thing to fight with same sex attration. It is another to act upon it. If you can answer all of the Temple Recomend questions honestly than you should go.

3/4/06 22:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No. How you run your life is your own business. However, if you intend to represent the Church, and purport to spread its "message", then that requires that you accept the Church's teachings. The teachings hold that your lifestyle choice and beliefs are wrong. As such, you cannot honestly represent the Church. This is not an issue of whether or not your personal beliefs are wrong or right. Rather, it is an issue of accepting the rules and regulations of the organization that you wish to represent and belong to. If you do not accept those teachings then you should have the courage of your convictions and be independent, i.e. leave the Church. How could you honestly preach the teachings that hold homosexuality as wrong, when you are a homosexual. Tad hypocritical don't you think?

7/4/06 12:17  
Blogger Colorado Todd said...

This is a very interesting question. When I was in College, I was introduced to the Church by my professor and his wife. I took to the teachings, doctrines with my full heart.
I was baptized and will never forget my feelings of newness, hope fulfilled and I too wanted to go to do 'The errand for the Lord'. The only trouble I could never overcome was knowing i was gay and how do I reconcile this with the Church, and my Lord. I found i couldn't under the present doctrines and my attempt to be true to myself. While i kept this to myself I eventualy decided not to go on a mission-
I certainly understand why one would think that going on a mission would be just one of the best spiritual experiences..I do think ANONYMOUS makes a clear point that I arrived at 15 years ago. I decided not to go on a mission, partly as a decided that I couldn't go and teach the Church's teachings where i felt that internal conflict. A Mission is not a political opportunity rather a spiritual device. I miss the Church but i do hold in my heart doctrines, and the Book of Mormon and keep in mind that my relationship with God and the Church's Scriptures are secured. Just a thought.

7/4/06 18:09  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am privileged I am English living in europe I "married" my partner of twenty years with our adopted adult daughters as witnesses. Our adopted twelve year old and five year old were the helpful helpers...so it was a family affair.
If you are sure you are gay do not go on a mission it will screw your mind up. Love God by going to a school were you can be gay and accept your God given natural feelings as something to respect. What moral code you apply to your actions and behaviour is personal. America is getting there slowly and its patchy.
The most sacred act I ever did was to accept myself as God created me and live my life with integrity.
All the lies and deciet gone I became truly the child of God I was intended to be.
God bless you young person.
from ;'Olde English'

13/4/06 10:33  
Anonymous Shane said...

Being someone who has had these feelings of same sex attraction I can honestly say the best thing I can do is serve a mission as long as I am ready (I am soon to be 18 and want nothing more than to serve a mission). Honestly people get real you know in your heart the church is true (you've most likely said that phrase) and that Jesus Christ died for us and his Atonement will save us...I believe it was the Prophet Joseph Smith who said "things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it". "It" is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Most people I have come to know who have the same conflict of being Mormon or being gay choose to be gay yet they believe every other small and simple truth and doctrine of which The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' Gospel entails. What makes the doctrine, of homosexuality to be wrong, any different? Why do people think that? I don't know. But I do know that there are more important things than uninhibited thought for the same sex. (Sorry for getting off topic) Please have an eternal perspective and read the Book of Mormon it will change your life. Love Shane

16/4/06 17:43  
Anonymous RC said...

I have never responded to any blog before, but when I the question, I was sure I wanted to respond.

I returned from my mission one year ago. Even though I am attracted to men I decided to go because I had a testimony of the Book of Mormon, and that Joseph Smith saw God the Father and Jesus Christ.
Going on a mission is a very serious decision. I prayed for strength and did everything in my power to live according to the gospel.
I can honestly say that during my mission, I did not even have any sexual thoughts or actions. The mission was the MOST amazing experience that I ever had. And, I therefore highly recommend it. I can not adequately express in words what I learned and got out of the mission, but it truly was amazing.
But as a warning… if you don’t have a testimony, or think that you will be unable to control yourself for two years… please don’t go.
I did, I was able to, and I don’t regret it. But making a mistake, and hurting yourself or someone else during the mission would be an absolute tragedy. I have seen it happen before, and it is better to avoid that type of problem all together.
Now I am living my life a certain way now that may differ from my mission. But I still do not regret nor take back what I said and did as a missionary. I still stand by it, and I know that it was the correct thing for me to do.
I suggest you pray, and honestly think about serving, and you will receive an answer. But be prepared for trials and live your mission accordingly. As a missionary 100% obedience is the key to survival, even more-so for a gay missionary.
It is possible, but your choice entirely.

17/4/06 18:21  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should go on a mission. I am not Mormon but have been considering joining the church. I have been with both men and women, and to tell the truth, I find I am more attracted to men. This is not a choice; this is not something anybody would chose. This is the way I am. It is the way God made me.

Your attraction to men does not, in any way, diminish the role of God or your religion in your life. I find that Mormons have the strongest most genuine bond to their religion - gay or not. If you feel strong enough about your mission and the message that you will spread, then go. If you can help others on the mission you should go.

18/4/06 19:07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do what you feel is right, but in my opinion if you are already sure you are gay at 17, living 24/7 with another young male (maybe a really cute one) would put unnecessary strain and temptation in your way and you would not be able to be a very good missionary. I didn't figure out I was gay until I got home from a mission. Even then, it was kind of difficult to deal with one companion who liked to spend as much time as possible naked.

26/4/06 07:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't take this the wrong way. I ran into this site, saw this blog, and couldn't resist. I am a byu grad and I did not go on a mission. Whether you go is up to you, and many people go and it is a positive experience, even though they are gay and or leave the church.

Having said that, I broke with the mormon church 10 years ago at byu and it is the best decision I have ever made with my life. NOT going on a mission and having to deal with all the "you're 20?" conversations at byu was no fun at all, but in the end that decision sealed the deal for me. I know a lot of other people who are still struggling to reconcile the fact that they are gay or the fact that they are not "believers" with the fact that they have dedicated so much of their life to the church. Look any religion is true if you believe it. Just recently this (very christian) guy I went to law school with came out and his way of dealing with his religious beliefs was to conclude that God is punishing him. The lies we tell ourselves.

2/5/06 17:41  
Anonymous mark said...

I agree with rc and think you should go if you're ready...if rc happends to come on here it would be awesome if he would e-mail me at markmissinthemark@yahoo.com I plan to serve a mission and need all the help I can get. thank you (although this will probably get deleted)

6/5/06 23:16  
Anonymous RUN with me!!! said...

Whatever man... I am in love with an Rm... and he loves me too... the only thing that is in the way are the fam... that bugs me a whole lot... He told me one night while lying down next to each other that he would only get married because it is what his parents would be fine with... Um, I do not know but I would not go on a mission. I know that I will not be able to control my thoughts. At least that is what I am thinking. I am too meshed with this guy I cannot go back and live him to deal with his family. Afterall, he needs my support!

9/5/06 20:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but I can't believe that you, or anyone, would consider going on a mission if you don't believe the teachings of the church. If you are gay, and you think that God made you that way, then you don't believe in the church and don't have the testimony that you claim to have. The ONLY thing that you should consider in this matter is, do I believe in the church or don't I. If you do, then you will forsake the notion that you are gay and work hard to do the right thing. If you are determined to be gay, then, whether you like it or not, you don't believe the teachings of the church. Don't go, it wouldn't be fair to you, to the people in the mission field, nor to God.

19/5/06 13:10  
Anonymous Steven said...

First blog for me..I was googling for something else, saw this link and read away. When I saw the last post from anonymous (1:10 pm) that alluded rather strongly that if your gay you cannot have a testimony I had to post. I am the bishop of a University ward (not BYU) who has a couple of men who I am confident are gay. By gay I mean they are attracted to other men and are not strongly attracted to women. However, they are not acting on these feelings, have both served honerable missions and both have significant leadership positions in my ward. I don't know what awaits them as life progresses but know that they have, so far, been able to be solid members of the church, serving to the best of their abilities.

In my opinion, this is a decision that NEEDS to be made in conjunction with your bishop and stake president. If you try to negotiate your activity in the church with being attracted to other men on your own you will loose. there are a number of resources availble to those who are struggling with these issues and I believe the church is really trying to reach out.

Good luck.

20/5/06 17:45  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some comments i do not agree with. I am a gay man in the Mormon church and i have a strong testimony of Heavenly father and his son and i believe that go is the only one who can judge you. Personally i would have loved to go on a mission because that would have strengthened my relationship more with heavenly father and our savior. I believe that heavenly father gave us the right to be who we are and to love one another for our differences but there is so much hate right now in the world that its only making satans job easier. I cannot waite till that day when i am standing in front of heavenly father and his son and i learn the truth of things that were mysterious on the earth today..........

26/5/06 17:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you will take my humble advice, please DO NOT go on a mission. I think you will find it a rather uncomfortable experience, after all you will have to pretend to be something you are not and that can be very frustrating. I get the impression from your post that you have already decided what your sexual orientation is, therefore I think it might stunt your progress as a gay mormon to start hiding the real you from others and engaging in deception just for the experience of going on a mission with someone.

Imagine what happens if you get found out? You will be subjected to a certain amount of humiliation and stress which will certainly do you and your morale no good in the short term, or perhaps even the long term. Be around people who support you and accept you as you are, the conventional LDS Churches will aggressively try to convert you and attempt to get you to change your ways.

I'm sure you are a nice person and I would hate to see you distracted from your spirituality by a mistake that could possibly lead to you experiencing prejudice and strong pressure to repent and change your life to suit somebody else.

Jesus Christ loves everyone of us unconditionally-if you LOVE someone UNCONDITIONALLY, you love them for who they are and not who you WANT them to be. Jesus loves you, just as you are. As a gay person, a human being who has made a choice to be true to himself and not live a lie.

I hope that helps you. Pray to God for guidance if you wish to come to a wise decision on this matter. May the Lord Jesus be with you whatever you decide.

14/6/06 12:05  
Anonymous Reed M. in Chicago said...

I went on a mission...I had a testimony of the churh 5 years, 8th-12th grade, of getting up at 5am for early morning seminary...But choose to wait till I was 21 to go on my mission due to finacial reasons. On my mission is when I found out about my true self...I'M GAY!! I had some really good looking companions... and I woke up earlier then my companions so I could take a cold shower and get rid of the thoughts and the morning wood from thinkig about my companions. I chose to talk to the mission President about the thoughs I was having.. I was sent to SLC, I was serving in London, England, to start "Therapy" which lasted another 2 months then I choose to be sent home after 7 months... I was treated just like Aaron Davis in "Latter Days" I even had 2 sucicide attempts......So if it were up to me I would tell you to NOT go...it will I believe save a lot of emotional anguish. But thats just my story yours might be diffrent.. This is only my oppinion.
Reed M.

24/8/06 20:08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay. Leave the church. I am bisexual and I have left. There are lds branches that support gays. There are not out here but I am working very hard to change that. I would disassociate yourself completely. Why would you go on a mission and then people would learn the teachings of the church and would be against homosexuality as well? email me at hypermike14@hotmail.com Good luck and God bless you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen

23/9/06 08:56  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes and no.
As someone responded near the beginning, being gay is something that you have to deal with, for sometimes your whole life, but that does not make you a bad person. It is not a contradiction to be gay and in the church either, as someone said falsely. THe lord loves us all, not just heterosexuals. The lord does not condemn a person for being gay, but he condemns the act of homosexuality. You are not broken. If you have control over your feelings and can control yourself, please go. President Hinckley said that all young men capable of going should go. I struggle with this, but I was able to control it and it was the most rewarding experience in my life. I didn't feel hypocritical either as someone said you would. You won't if you're following the lord's teachings. I can promise you that if you're worthy it will be the best experience in your life if you let it.

16/10/06 19:58  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no sir. sorry i am LDS to and i dont think you should serve a mission. god has stated in the scriptures that same sex marriage and gay people that choose to be gay is a sin and all evil. that is just a summarization. you are to me at least not worthy to serve a mission. you could choose to not be gay and then serve a mission. but evil and good cannot be under the same roof. it is just not possible and plus what kind of example would you be setting for those that your gay? you might as well say, "hi i am elder bob and i am gay". its wrong,

25/10/06 00:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Being" gay is not a sin. We all have our issues, and same sex attraction is something some of us have to deal with. Acting on homosexual thoughts,however, is a sin. If you're not acting on it, GO and Serve the Lord. He knows you, and He knows your strengths as well as your struggles. Trust me, I served a mission and fight with these same temptations. But I have also experienced some amazing life lessons-- one of them being to love thy neighbor, and the Lord. I don't know why some of us have to deal with this issue-- it's heartwrenching. But neither does President Hinckley. When asked if same sex attraction was a choice or genetic, he stated that he did not know, he was not a psychologist. We just don't know. But that's ok. Just do what you know is right. Make life as great as it can be and I know your deep sincerity will help lead Heavenly Father's children to the gospel. There are people the Lord wants you and only you to teach. I know that. God bless.

3/11/06 22:37  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't go, Don't go, unless you just want the travel experience and a free ride for two years, not being who you really are. As a gay youth, you are not accepted by the organization that you are part of, they judge you and site scripture, even though those scriptures instruct them not to judge. I hold fond memories of the church and my youth, but it is a very unforgiving place for anyone that doesn't fit the cookie cutter mold. You have several tough years ahead of you, remember that there a thousands of mormon 'sinners' out there, living good and whole lives.

4/2/07 15:34  
Blogger Matt said...

I served a mission almost 10 years ago and I don't regret that decision - at least not entirely. I believe it was a good experience for me in a lot of ways, but being gay (and knowing it) made it more difficult than I expected.
A big part of me feels I should not have gone. It will be stressful if you don't go - but that stress will be much worse if you DO go. Trust me. I do want to add that you should not feel shame or guilt about being gay. That is no way to live. I did that for way too long. Life is too short - please don't waste it. I met a man just the other day who is a stake president and also in his late sixties. He just came out as gay. I mention this to assure you that your homosexuality is not something you can wish (or pray) away. This is the second reason I discourage you from a mission, because it would only delay the steps you must take to embrace who you really are. Having said all of that, I do think you should go if you genuinely feel its right for you. But don't do it because family or Church leaders pressure you to do it.

5/2/07 21:23  
Blogger roger said...

No please don't as by your actions as a missionary you will be living a lie, which will deceive other young guys who are too often just attracted to the the church by 2 good looking young men, in white shirts and a smart suit, as was i. Then after 30+ years of trying to hide my feelings for the love of same sex, i almost took my life. Be true to yourelf, don't try to be someone you are not, if you must have religion, go elsewhere and free yourself from this hideous religion, that scews up peoples lives.

20/5/07 03:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You cannot teach the gospel with honesty and integrity of you are gay. The gospel teaches that homosexuality is wrong. Acting on it or not makes no differance. It's also unfair to your companions to first off have to share a room with a gay companion if they don't want to and second to not have a companion that is honest.

No you can't answer honestly the temple recommend questions if you are gay.

20/9/07 23:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The previous posting contains two major errors:

1. There is no temple recommend question where you're asked if you're gay, so no one will ask you. They will only ask you if you keep the law of chastity as defined by the LDS Church.

2. The blogger wrote that "acting on it makes no difference". According to Church leaders, it makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE!

I think it's a bad idea for a gay Mormon to serve a mission, but not for the reasons posted in the previous message.

21/9/07 05:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can be openly gay in the mormon church and if not active sexually, you are breaking no covenants (refer to their most recent publications). You can go on a mission.

PS: I went on a mission and there were more problems with male/female relations that there ever were with gay missionaries.

Any gay member who can answer all the questions for their recommend, is living according to the Church is worthy to go on a mission and is not living a lie.

Of course, who would want to go on a mission where their church just a few years ago advocated physical methods to rehab gays, called them damned to hell until recently, etc.

Basically you would be representing a hypocritical church in my opinion. But you can go.

28/9/07 09:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One person says you cant get a recommend if you are gay. they are sadly misinformed and have not read the most recent official publications from the church which states that they understand there are gay members. They state BEING gay is NOT a sin. They require gay members to be chaste. The temple question is are you chaste? Chaste is not having a sexual relationship outside marriage. If you are you can go to the temple gay or straight.

But then again why go a mission for a church like the mormon one?

28/9/07 09:45  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is no good reason not to go except that you have decided that mission will ruin your live. I am gay and went on mission. Was it hard? Yes! Did it worth the time and experience? Yes!!! At the end of the day, it is up to you. As long as you could control yourself and not getting into any trouble on your mission, you should go. It is worth all you could imagine when you are positive about it. Remember there is a religion all of us live in - Humankind.

9/11/07 22:46  
Anonymous KirtlandBoy said...

I have been going through the same thing, I am 19 and its about time for me to go on a mission. And this has helped me make the decision that I will go on a mission, I know the church is against GBLT, but I love the church and I indeed accept the values it teaches. Thank you so much

18/12/07 08:42  
Anonymous avalon said...

Don't go. I tried to reconcile it in my head by not thinking about it too clearly, you know, the whole 'not right for my path now but it was right then' thing. But that time could have been better used getting on with life and fully engaging it in a real, fulfilling way, on your own terms, rather than in the cloistered artificial, insular world of Mormonism (and especially the mission experience).

Your choice - either waste two years chanting D&C 4 or whatever it is to try and fit in with a bunch of people who think you're an abomination, or quit chanting and just listen to the simple fear and simple hope in you and just be a real person. It's so much better and what's worse than being old before you can be yourself and then having a bunch of regret?

31/12/07 10:41  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is something that only your Bishop can decide.

4/2/08 04:53  
Blogger a£exandrᴁ said...

This question is personal and there is no one who can make the decision unless it is yourself. There is no one who has commented here that has the right to tell someone else that they should not be able to go on a mission. It is entirely up to YOU as a person.

I have found that there is much negativity towards homosexuality, on both sides of the fence. Since I've known about my sexuality since I was very young (about 9 or so) I have been closeted for most of my life, and even now only a few close friends and my parents know. If someone told me that because I struggled with homosexuality I was not worthy to serve the Lord, I would be frustrated with them. Why? I have lived my life worthy to serve a mission. I have strived from day to day to follow the commandments, and I am just as clean and pure as any other individual in the church who is straight. For some time as I made the decision to serve a mission, I was very worried that I would not be able to control myself. I find individuals of the same sex very attractive, and it's hard not to sometimes, especially since they can dress very immodestly.

But I can tell you with all the fervor of my heart that I believe in and have a testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. When I obey His words and follow His example, I am not led in wrong paths. I know what is right, and I know that the gospel is true, and I believe that I can withstand the wiles and hailstones of Satan, because I know what my weakness is and I rely on the Lord to strengthen me.

The choice is personal, and for those who say that gay youth should not go on missions, I say "Why don't you try to understand gay people?" We are not here to be perverted or disgusting. We do not know why we have feelings for the same sex. Do not discriminate against us because we were given a different trial. In the end, it is only Heavenly Father who can judge our hearts. Only He knows.

Stop the hate.

4/5/08 16:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with the last post...it is up to you but you should discuss it with your bishop if you are struggling with the idea of going or not.

And as far as the temple recommend questions go...there is the one about
is there anything in your life that is not in accordance with the teachings of the church... so if you are gay and you want a physical relationship with someone of the same sex and you act upon it then you can't answer that question truthfully

24/6/08 18:02  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thx RC for your comment, it is not because you are guay that you can not live the principles you were taught. An active guay in the church is a hero that does his best to follow what he knows is right whatever the price. If you have the desire to go and you are ready to sacrifice your earthly desire, (girls for straights and men for gays) included... you will be a great missionary and hopefully the experiences you will have on the field will give you enought strength to keep on going faithfully. It won't be easy but you will know where to turn to find the strength because you practiced that during your all mission and you set an habit. Good luck

2/7/08 10:07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, RC, for your comments; it is not because you are gay that you cannot live the principles you were taught. An active gay man in the church is a hero that does his best to follow what he knows is right whatever the price. If you have the desire to go and you are ready to sacrifice your earthly desire (girls if you’re a straight guy and men if you’re a gay man), you will be a great missionary and hopefully the experiences you will have on the field will give you enough strength to keep on going faithfully. It won't be easy, but you will know where to turn to find the strength because you practiced that during your all mission and you set a habit. Good luck.

4/7/08 07:53  
Anonymous Lif your life to its fullest! said...

I am gay. I was born this way. I remember I was in kindergarden and had crushes on the other boys in my class. I have been a Member my whole life and I still go to church. I went on a Mission to Japan. I returned Honorably, but it was difficult. It was hard for me to lie to myself. I told myself I wasnt gay but knew I was. I always thaught to myself and told myself that it was just random thaughts in my head that saten was trying to put there, even tho i was always attracted to men and never to women. I was alwas too ashamed to admit it to myself because it was not the churches teaching.
Finaly realizing that there is nothing wrong with me i decited to tell someone. I am now 27 and 6 months ago I came out for the first time. I told my father, who is my Bishop. He was kind and extreamly understanding.

This part is important:
Going on a Mission was the right thing to do!!!! I was worthy and never had sex with a guy because i was too ashamed to admit to my self i was gay. But i was ashamed of my self my whole mission, and that hindered the work for me. I learned so much on my mission tho,(besides japanese lol)!
I learned that got loves us no matter what we are going thru! He wants us to be happy. And serving a mission has deffinatly helped me grow up. Its taught me that i need to follow my heart and go in the dirrection that suits me best and makes me happy, even if that is with another guy.

I will follow my heart. That is the true decider of love and life. Remember being gay is something that we cannot control and we are born with it. However we mormons all know that we will be punished for our own sins and not adams sins. That means we are not born with sin. That also means that having gay feelings is also not a sin but part of our life. We must accept this fact to become strong, so we can be our full potential beings. Does that mean having a partner is wrong. ( Are we realy that condemned from being with someone?) Man is not meant to be alone! I dont want to be lonely my whole life. If your not gay than YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH WOMEN IS WELCOME WITH OPEN ARMS!!! I beleive our hearts are the only things that can answer our questions as gays and lesbians. FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND PRAY!
if you feel good about the answers you get than no one can argue with you. No matter what the answers may be. Going on a Mission taught me that.
Go soul searching. go on a journey of experiences that will help strengthen your life for your future as a gay/lesbian. We all need to grow. Go on a mission if you are worthy. Remember straight men and women and gay/lesbians alike all learn in a different way. Your mission is what you make of it.

12/1/09 10:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a straight woman raised in the mormon church. I never served a mission and I have not been to sacrament meeting, sunday school or anything else for that matter in years. I believe in many of the tenets of the Mormon church but I struggle constantly with the idea that what I believe in does not support some of the most important people in my life. If you want to go on a mission and you feel you can do it right, then by all means, do it. That is a choice you must make with your Heavenly Father, not your parents,
not your Bishop, not your Sunday School Teacher, but your Heavenly Father. We learn to pray to receive answers and that is what you should do. And after watching Latter Days, I am deeply saddened that the people who have professed to love him for his whole life are going to let him go and have no further contact with him. How ignorant!!! Families are supposed to be forever!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't judge. Talk you to your Heavenly Father and decide with him. It's your life and you are kow what you are capable of.

29/5/09 22:41  
Blogger Tom said...

No. I did and regret it. I would be a much better person had I had the guts to say No Mission!

18/6/09 19:12  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 19 and I'm planning on serving a mission and I think that if you just stay clear of any "behaviors" before you go than you should be fine..... Don't listen to the haters that don't know what it's like to be hated for who you love

31/8/09 03:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No. If you do go, you'll end up trying to ratonalize that it was a meaningful experience and "led you to where you are now" blah blah blah. But Mormonism teaches you to repress anger and sadness, so it's no surprise the temptation is to change platitudes, but you're still dealing with platitudes.

Once someone can be really honest with themselves, you see that it is wasted time. The church if a corporation that exists for its self-perpetuation and self-justification, never counting the human cost. I would counsel someone to think it through before giving away years of their life and their personal power for something that won't further their happiness or life goals in the end.

Why not be young and date like a normal person and live your life? Why participate in something designed to lock you into a trajectory that ends in ONLY heterosexual marriage and children and being a low grade functioning cookie-cutter soldier, especially when you'll be demonized, ostracized, and have the organization you gave your youth to turn around and step on things like you and your family having a normal life and basic constitutional rights? How thankless.

15/1/10 10:07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And in answer to a previous poster, I do know the church is not real. Read up on trance states and emotional manipulation.

15/1/10 10:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Admittedly as a hetero-sexual male, I can't truly understand your experience, yet here's my counsel. The church stays away from comment on same-sex attraction. The reality is that it is essentially the same as opposite-sex attraction. The question is can you keep your attraction 'within the bounds the Lord has set'. If you can, and can honestly answer all of the Temple recommend questions, then go. You will continue to have same-sex attraction during mortality. If you can be chaste, then you can be a member. Forget the comments about being hypocritical. We are all hypocritical at some point. I teach keeping the Sabbath Day holy, but on Super Bowl Sunday, my friend on the High-Council and I will be rooting for the Cowboys (I'm the High Priest Group Leader).

13/3/10 10:22  
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23/6/10 06:30  
Anonymous Steven Fales said...

If you believe in the Restoration, go on a mission. If you do not believe in the Restoration, do not go on a mission.

If you are not sexually active, go on a mission. If you are sexually active, do NOT go on a mission.

If you are nineteen, do something extraordinary and productive with your life. Find something that replaces a mission if you do not go.

I believe a mission or the peace corp and getting an education is what all nineteen to twenty-five year olds should be doing.

BEWARE the clubbing scene that can lead to way too much sex and drugs . . . and BEWARE of a seductive, materialistic job that just leads to Prada.

Make sure you have a foundation for your life! A mission is a great experience. I'm thankful God allowed mine to happen!

Steven Fales

28/6/10 11:29  
Blogger Patmos Pete said...

Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues. For her sins have reached unto heaven, and God hath remembered her iniquities.

8/7/10 13:43  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was talking to a non-member who lives in Silver Spring, not too far from the Washington DC temple. He is gay. He says that from time to time, missionaries knock on his door. He makes it clear that he is gay and living with a partner, but is in an open relationship. Later, one of the missionaries comes back without his companion for sex. It has happened three times in the last five years.

I didn't start having gay sex until I was 40. I can't believe how sexually naive I was. I guess you cannot assume anything. When I was on my mission, one of the elders propositioned me for gay sex. I turned him down for many reasons, one of which was not wanting to be a hypocrite.

11/7/10 20:31  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is a very personal question - I believe that in order to go on a mission you need to believe the gospel - do you believe the church teachings on homosexuality? if the answer is yes then go, but if the answer is no then don't go.

21/10/10 16:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NO!!! U should definitely not go on a mission. Gay people should not be. Neither should transexuals. U people are dumbasses! Its nasty! Your a disgrace to mankind and mother nature and your family and race and everything!!! GOD CREATED ADAM & EVE!!! NOT ADAM & STEVE!!!

5/11/10 19:28  
Anonymous Levi Khristian Florence said...

I served an "unsanctioned" Mission with companions and a "Stalwart" Mission President. My Mormon [Patriarchal] Blessing stressed the need to remaine close to him.
My "predispositional" character had always been wrestling with "Same-Sex Attraction Issues". A "learned" graduate of Saint [Thomas]
LDS Seminary on the Standard Works.
Unsolicited Advice: Do your Homework. With discerning spirit, be studious in the writings
of the earley Church, especially our founder Joseph Smith. Then harnass those emotions, and with diligence, Scibe your own Mission-
Statement. Caste away those inner turmoils and warring factions.

Further Study & Discource:
"Out of the Bishops' Closet"
"A Call to Heal Ourselves, Our Fellows and Our Community"
[Anthony Feliz]-San Fransisco Press

18/1/11 11:26  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Might I add that this is NOT lds.org and that the comments are made by mortal men, and therefore are not necessarily influenced by revelations from the Holy Ghost.

Having said that, the leaders of the Church love everyone, even those with same-gender attraction. I have read multiple conference talks on this issue, and none of them have suggested that those with the susceptibility of attraction to those of the same gender do not qualify to go on a full-time mission.

To go on a mission, you need to be obedient to the commandments of God. Therefore, gay men and women are held to the same standard of chastity as heterosexuals. If you can answer all of the temple recommend interview questions honestly and are allowed to go into the temple, then you certainly should go on a mission. If not, I beg you to pray, fast, read your scriptures, attend church, and do everything you can to repent and be worthy of the blessings of the temple. God loves you. We all have our temptations and susceptibilities. Don't let your susceptibility define you. You are a child of God. Let that be the forefront of your identity. Never forget it.

I am in the same position as you, and I fully intend to go on a mission, for I know that the atonement of Christ is real, and can work for anyone and their individual temptations.

21/1/11 08:06  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Talk to your bishop. He can help you. Do not take the advice of strangers who do not have the Holy Ghost!

21/1/11 08:07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I say that you should decide if it will make you happier, and also talk with your Bishop, he will help make the decision. I went on a mission and decided to come out afterwards because I learned so much. Remember God loves you and wants you to be happy, and He wants His children to be happy and you could help them to receive that happiness. Pray and ask God also, He is a great factor in this decision.

24/1/11 22:08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If anyone feels gay they carry a burden from an ancestor of the opposite sex! There are ways to heal this! Bert Hellinger is a very inspired man and works with a tratment in Germany known as "Familienstellen", I don´t know the translation for it.
You might find english infos about him in the internet.
I have experiences miracles working with that kind of therapy!!
Have a good filled life!!

31/1/11 12:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im Gay. When i was 20 years old and I told my bishop that I am gay. Bishop told me that Gay people can go to on mission. Gay and Church are not conflict each other. Gay means your inside attraction another same sex. Elder Oaks told us that same sex attraction is nothing wrong but sexual activities. I was suffered through with very hot companion for six months and i noticed my joy was growing. If you really wanted to serve for the Lord and go for it but you need to will sacrifice for sexual activities and relationship with another guy. remember, Heavenly father gave us challenges and helps us to grow stronger to return his kingdom. I hope this is helpful for you. If you need contract me, my aim is anubislovesf

18/5/11 03:06  
Anonymous brandon said...

Listen man I feel for you because I've struggled with the same thing. All the people who say that you shouldn't are forgetting that god never gives us a challenge we can't handle. Some people are born into abusive situations some are born prone to drug addiction and some are born with homosexual tendencies. My point is that god gave people like you and me this immense challenge because he knows we can handle it and expects us to do so! Don't ever think for a second that you are any less than anyone else and if your worthy and have a testimony you absolutely go. Everything may seem foggy now but if you serve the lord everything will all into place. I hope I have helped. -Brandon

15/9/11 21:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can't even be baptized if you're gay, much less go on a mission. First repent of your sexual immorality. Read "The Family: A Proclamation to the World". It will help you understand why a family is not meant to have two fathers, or two mothers.

22/9/11 09:05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that there is an honest misconception that is fairly perplexing to me. Being gay is not a choice, but acting on those urges is. It is not a choice to have a inclination to be addicted to gambling, but it is a choice to gamble.
You are not evil for being gay, as far as that goes acting on it does not make you evil, but the action is a sin. We all have obstacles to overcome, and problems to deal with, but those problems do not make us evil. It is our actions that will define us in the last judgement, and our ability to control our actions.
If you are gay, but you have a testimony of the church, and you know it to be true, then yes you should serve a mission, and when you encounter those who are like you, do not be afraid to admit to your weaknesses. You may be just the story that they need to make the right choices in their life!

22/10/11 22:13  
Anonymous Fernando said...

Then I came back from mission a year ago, I should still be there but the reason was that an elder who was the nephew of a general authority of the church kissed a girl and did something else said I knew everything but I did not know then that resulted I'm home now and he finished his mission and that president was a hypocrite who does not think it would have in church!
I do not know what happened to me, I think by getting frustrated and sad sometimes thinking about the mission that led me to start out with gay people and Bixessual the beginning it's all strange and over time will become a normal thing now I have doubts about my sexuality, I can not deny what I felt the mission was incredible, but the church people are homophobic, never happened to me about liking or not a person of the same sex.
What do you think about it?

8/11/11 12:21  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I joined the church when I was 19 and knew I was gay before joining. I had never done anything and really did not want to be gay. After I joined, I thought my homosexual feelings would end. I prayed fervently and did everything I could to rid myself. I wanted to go on a mission and thought that serving the Lord would get rid of it as well. I did not do anything wrong on my mission, but I still had attractions to companions. I was faithful and was a great missionary. I don't regret going on a mission because it was a great life experience. However, I must say that I am no longer a member of the church. I'm gay and living with a loving partner. As much as I wanted to think that being celebate my whole life would be righteous, it just never made sense and was not fair. My eyes have been opened. I am so happy and have a great life without depression or remorse. If you want to go on a mission it is your choice. Just make sure that it is what YOU want to do and not want to go because it is expected of you. If you want to live your whole life according to the church's teachings and be celebate OR married and truly not happy then by all means, you should go. I thought I could, but it didn't work out that way. I know the truth now for myself.

6/2/12 14:00  
Blogger Steven John said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

18/3/12 03:37  
Blogger Steven John said...

I think you should go on a mission if you're gay. I'm gay and was helped out by the church in a phenomenal way one time when two missionaries knocked on my door at the most perfect time... (in retrospect). I'm pretty sure the missionary that helped me the most was gay, though I may never know for sure. I will never forget them I know that.

18/3/12 03:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find the hateful comments slightly funny. Do you realize how much of a bigot you are? You claim to be defending the gospel, but obviously you don't know the church's stance on these issues if you post comments with the spirit of contention intertwined.

So, just throwing my two cents in--I am gay and trying to decide if I want to go on a mission. If you notice in the comments the people who post that are gay and went on a mission say it was a positive experience. In my opinion these answers are the most beneficial ones. So thank you for staying on point! It has helped me decide.

20/8/12 00:58  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe the guidance and direction one receives while serving a mission are immeasurable, and can help you find your path in life- no matter your orientation. As you learn to listen to the guidance of the Holy Ghost, you will find strength beyond your own strength, knowledge beyond your own knowledge, hope beyond your own, etc... Missions are an opportunity to share all the goodness you already possess, and the more your share it, the more it will grow. Gay or straight, there are so many good things inside each of us, so let's focus on the good and help it grow- and from there we can gain the strength to deal with the rest. Go on a mission as soon as possible, and stay worthy of going to the temple when you return! You will help yourself, and all those you come in contact with, and will set an example for all the rest of us looking for a way to deal with insurmountable challenges. You are EXCEPTIONAL! You are WONDERFUL! You are LIGHT! SHARE IT in a positive way! Missions are one of the best ways to do just that! Love and Blessings! :)

28/1/13 16:36  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you really just tell a 17 year old boy to leave the church? You should be ashamed. The gospel is for everyone and if you can't see past your own bigotry you should just keep to yourself.

28/3/15 15:24  
Blogger emmanuel asabre said...

Am i disqualify from going on mission even when i have engage in gay sex before after the age of 16 .... i am 22 years now but am no more gay

31/5/15 08:55  
Blogger Dingeling said...

Emmanuel, I understand that your post is almost 2 years old, but I wanted to respond nonetheless, just in case you or anyone else with the same question reads this.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ applies to all of us, and to all sins. Through it we are cleansed, if we repented of our sins and strive to live righteously. The reason we all partake of the Sacrament weekly, is because we all make mistakes on a weekly basis.

If you have repented, then there's no reason you could not still serve a mission. Please talk with your bishop. It will not only lift a weight off your shoulders, but together with him you can determine if you're ready to serve.

I'm interested to learn why you felt you were gay before, but not anymore.

Never forget: The Lord loves you, no matter what. All he expects is that we keep trying.

26/3/17 17:21  
Blogger Dingeling said...

In response to the original question, I share the sentiments of many of the positive and respectful other commenters.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka Mormon Church or LDS Church) teaches that feeling a sexual attraction to someone is NOT a sin, regardless of whether it is heterosexual or homosexual. It is only when we have sex with someone outside of marriage that we sin. This means that regardless of whether they are “straight” or “gay”, unmarried members of the LDS Church choose to live a life of celibacy. If a gay missionary believes and adheres to this doctrine, then there is nothing hypocritical about them serving a mission and teaching this doctrine to others.

Even though all missionaries are expected to put their romantic feelings on ice during their missions, there’s no doubt that that would be extra challenging for someone who feels same-sex attraction toward his/her missionary companion. However, there’s nothing to stop such a missionary from speaking with their mission president, and requesting to put with a different companion.

The most important reason to serve a mission is because you want to share your testimony and the eternal blessings of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ with others. The scriptures teach us that “if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work.” (D&C 4:3) So you shouldn’t serve a mission because anyone expects you to, you should serve because you want to.

If you have that testimony and love for your neighbour, then by all means go, for “when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.” (Mosiah 2:17)

As a bonus, almost all returned missionaries report that their missions have been a tremendous influence for good in their own lives, including most of the gay returned missionaries who have posted responses here, and even the ones who have eventually chosen to leave the LDS Church. I think that says a lot.

Ultimately, whether or not to serve a mission is a personal decision between you and the Lord.

26/3/17 18:47  

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