Gay Mormons & Garments
Did you continue wearing your garments after coming out? How long and why? If not, why not?
posted by Affirmation at 15:51
19 April 2006
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18 Comments:
I stopped wearing mine when I became inactive, whichwas 4 yrs. before I came out. I never saw the point of wearing them after I left the church. Besides, I doubt I could get them now anyway.
I continued wearing my garments for more than 5 years after coming out. I thought the temple ceremonies were silly, but I wore my garments because I value Mormonism as my religious tradition. My second boyfriend, whom I met in Affirmation, also wore his, years after coming out.
One summer I decided that I wanted to start wearing shorts without any silly garment line on the knees. But I kept wearing the garment tops till they finally wore out. Now I wear white boxer-shorts similar to garment bottoms and white undershirts that look and feel just like garment tops.
I have not, though, been able to rid of genuine garments: Many years after coming out, my life partner still wears his! At night, when we spoon, or when he hugs me in bed, I enjoy the warm embrace of his temple garments.
I stopped wearing them becasue garments represent something that i am not, a straight Mormon. Mormonism wants nothing to do with the real me, so why continue to embrace a practise that is not "real".
Jason
For a while I wore them to church only, or to work under shirts that would show the difference. Since I never liked them in the first place, I minimized wearing them. Never on a date when I might get lucky. When I switched jobs to one where people were not used to me being mormon, and quit going to the LDS church, I quit wearing them completely. Haven't had a pair on my body for at least 10 years. I finally put them all in a plastic bag and dumped it at Deseret Industries.
when i came out, i was in my final year of medical school at nyu. it's was terrifying and i cried alot.
one night, when i realized i couldn't be mormon, but also couldn't yet desacrate the garment, i got fully naked in my apartment on first avenue, on an evening when the eerie green light from the empire state building was bleeding through my windows.
i carefully cut out the symbols and burned them. then cut the rest of them up and threw them away in tiny unrecognizeable pieces.
today i think i could have unceremoniously dropped them into the garbage chute. but that day, i was far from ready to trounce my beliefs.
and today, i still wouldn't want to mock it/them. because they hold enormous import to some people, though no longer me.
have never worn them since.
I never liked wearing them in the first place and only actually attended the temple ceremonies twice, the first time before the MTC and once in the MTC. Once I returned, I never felt inclined to go again. I would look for every reason not to wear them and often would leave my parents house in them and then stop and change out of them. Finally, I got to where it didn't really matter and I quit wearing them all together. Although I didn't and don't believe in the church, I have respect for what it stands for and would never disrespect their traditions and ceremoinies. I have been approached by several people who are into underwear fetish wanting me to get some for them. I politely decline.
I stopped wearing my garments when I was still married as I thought I was unworthy. Several years after I came out and of course divorced I started wearing them again. What a blessing. After being inspired by gay men from other faiths, ie Judiasm, Muslim...I began to really study and take a close look at mine. IT is not between leaders in the LDS church and me. It is between myself and Heavenly Father. My garments mean so much more to me now and they would have to be ripped from me. Why would one allow man to take something from us that is so sacred. I could care less what is said by our leaders in regards to homosexuality and my worthiness. Because of the words of a few Rabbis is one no longer Jewish. Because of the interpetation of the Koran by some extremists is one no longer Muslim? Our Mormon history has reflected tolerance. I refuse take my football and leave the game. I am gay! I am Mormon and believe in my faith more than ever
Had I not been excommunicated several years prior to coming out I would still be wearing my garments. Since I was excommunicated I feel that it would be disrespectful for me to wear my garments. I loved going to the temple, and would still attend if I still had a valid recommend. I believe in the church, and I believe that one day gays and lesbians will be welcomed with open arms.
taking off my garments and packing them in a box was one of the most painful experiences I had when I decided I could no longer participate actively in the church. I don't want to be one of those ex-mormons that throw the baby out with the bathwater, and I am grateful for what I once had in the church, but I know I will never have that again, just as I know I will never wear the garment again.
It is hard for me to understand why anyone would continue to wear them once they have left activity in the church, because of everything wearing the garments represents, but it is a personal choice. Thank God for Free Agency.
When I stopped being a slave to the church, I threw away my garments and never looked back. Free at last, Free at last, I thank God I am free at last!
I have not worn my garments for over 15 years. I wore them up until my divorce, but since I believed that wearing them was disrespectful to the beliefs of the main body of the Saints, I cut out the symbols and burned them. My companion of 15 years told me how sexy he thought they were when we first met. I couldn't explain their importance to him, so I quit wearing them.
I so not know if I have the belief to wear them again, but I did enjoy wearing them while I was trying to be a faithful member.
I wore mine for about 3 months after coming out. I stopped wearing them when I became sexually active. It creeped me out that there were/are people with garment fetish.
It took me about two years before I could destroy them. I did as I was taught and burned the symbols and cut the remainder up.
My partner and I recently bought a house together. In packing up my belongings I came across my unused temple robe. I debated for a long time about what to do with it. I finally threw it away.
I miss wearing them only because they represented safety and security to me. I've realized that I have that same safety and security in the intimate relationship that I share with my heavenly being. The garments were just a physical reminder.
I wore my garments for around 5 years after I came out. I stop wearing them because I cannot buy them without having a recommendation to the temple. I believe that the Churche is true and that Garments are inspired. Joseph Smith Never said anything about same-sex relationships, neither said Jesus. SO as far as I know the Original Church is true, but the product that appear after JS death is not. I wish I could continue towaer garments. I have tops but don't have bottoms, so I cannot wear just part of it. Rather not wearing anything.
anonymous
Well having come out during my mission (sort of) I had two gay companions, and being one of the most successful missionaries in the history of my mission(to that time) I wore my garments until I came home and finished BYU. Then a year later I met the love of my life who was not a member and one day (while we lived in UT) he found my garments and figures that I didn't need them, and they disappeared. Have not worn them since then and that's been 20 years.
I have not been excommunicated from the church. I still wear my garments no matter what. They are very much a part of who I am and my heritage. I will do my best to wear them until the day that I die.
I appreciate everyone's comments, I happened across this page while trying to find prices on garments. I am not gay, but can empathize with the reasons given on both sides (to continue to wear or not.)
I sometimes struggle with "regular" worthiness concerns, but am committed to the convenants I've made, so I repent as needed and always wear my garments.
As previously mentioned, we each must choose our own path. I would only advise to all: pray/meditate often that we each remain true to ourselves and our God.
Well said Kyle!
I want to wear them again ... How is it possible ?
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